Blind to beauty
by TheActualCheshireCat
Summary: Lovino Vargas was severely injured in an accident as a child and ended up growing up in a mental hospital for Trauma. Now he's scared of showing his face where his scars lie, so he covers it up every day, he puts on a fake personality. However, will he be able to reveal small pieces of himself to his friend Matthew or Mentor Antonio? I do not own Hetalia, and this is a gift!


_The fire tore through the house, ripping through the carpets of their parent's room like wildfire, his brother was already out, but he was trapped by the fire."H-Help!"Screamed the older of the two, his brother had ran downstairs at the first smell of burning, he was only two and had nearly injured himself. The older turned his head, seeing the fire ripping toward him, he stood, paralysed and was forced to the floor to try and escape the smoke, then the flames caught up with him, they licked at his face, tearing at his flesh, then the younger screamed in pain, that was when he heard the fire extinguishers, the ambulance being called and the crying of his brother. He was then picked up by paramedics as firemen tamed the fire, back into it's roots in their parent's bedroom. He was whisked outside into the ambulance, where his burns were dressed, and he and his little brother were sent to the hospital together, his parents were taken in an emergency ambulance as they were severely injured. The older of the boys had seen his parents perish, he had watched them be charred by the fire, try and escape but to no avail. He spent weeks in the hospital, then he was sent to a mental hospital. He was showing signs of trauma, he was having violent nightmares, he was terrified of anything hot. He was scared._

It had been years since that had happened, yet Lovino still bore the scar where the flames had ripped along his face. Reaching for the concealer he peered inside the bottle of liquid."Shit."He peered at himself in the mirror and tears pricked at his eyes as he tried his best to smear the horrid scar with concealer however his struggle was obvious. Today was the day he was going to leave his home in the hospital ward to go to a normal school. It had been arranged for him to have another student look after him until he was used to school life. He had been deemed able to leave days before, and he had been somewhat excited to finally enter a normal school as his whole life he had been schooled in the hospital, mostly to help prevent his regular breakdowns."Fuck."He cussed, realizing the concealer barely covered the scar. Then, his little brother skipped into the room, also in his school uniform."Fratello are you ready for your first day?"He asked cheerfully.  
"I can't go Feli..."Lovino murmured darkly, he turned to his brother, the tears stinging his eyes."They'll stare, they'll laugh at me..."Then the tears began to flow from his eyes, his voice became raspy and hoarse, he beat at the pillow on his bed in frustration. He shook off Feliciano's arms as his little brother tried to comfort him, rambled broken Italian sentences flowed from his mouth as he began coughing, choking on his own tears. Feliciano hurriedly patted his brother's back, wrapping his arms around his waist in an iron grip, trying to restrain him but failing. He reached for the side table where there was a button to call the nurse if his brother was in a panic, which he was. Lovino was now kneeling on the floor, his head sideways on the bed with tears streaming down his face and his breath coming out in short raspy breaths. When the nurse arrived she carefully sat Lovino up on his bed, and began to softly sing to him. It was his favourite Italian nursery rhyme, and Feli joined in singing.  
"Bobo la bilancia,  
il bimbo è andato in Francia,  
In Francia Gaeta,  
ci sono le belle donne  
che filano la seta,  
La seta e la bambagia,  
La seta e la bambagia,  
Ambarabà si chiama  
Maria Luisa che mangia  
i fichi che son maturi  
Insieme ai canguri."It was the best method to use to calm him down. Along with the singing, the nurse gently placed a small stuffed toy in his arms. It was a little stuffed toy rabbit, with a tomato on each paw. It was the only memory that Lovino had of his parents. As he clutched at the stuffed toy he began to relax and silence fell over the room. The nurse put her hand on Lovino's arm gently."Are you okay now sweetheart? We'd better hurry you to school, huh?"She smiled kindly and Lovino nodded slowly, getting up and silently retrieving both Feli's and his own bags from the floor. Passing Feli his, he slung his own on his back."Let's go..."His voice was almost a whisper, as his breakdown had caused his voice to be almost lost. Feli broke into a smile, skipping to his brother and linking arms with him, pretty much dragging him to the hospital company car, ignoring the whispered, swearing protests.

When they reached the school, the nurse parked the car by the reception of the school, and turned to Lovino when he tapped her arm."Can I borrow your concealer?"He asked, his face tomato red and an embarrassed scowl across his face. The nurse smiled, took her concealer from her glovebox and quickly powdered over Lovino's face."Come on then sweetheart, off you go. Feli's gone already."She laughed. As Lovino got out of the car he glanced over at Feliciano who was waiting impatiently for him at the front doors."Alright! I'm coming!"He snapped as Feli called for him to hurry up. Running to catch up with his brother Lovino suddenly felt nervous. His hands began to shake and he found himself gripping onto his brother's arm like a little kid. The two of them stood at the reception, the two of them were registered by the receptionist. The receptionist was a tall, intimidating lady who went by the name of Natalya, she had long blonde hair and a dark aura about her. "This way."She growled to the brothers, showing them to a little room where students were told to go while they waited for parents. When the door was opened they were greeted by another student."Hola!"The stranger chirped."My name is Antonio, which one of you is Lovino, chicos?"He asked brightly.  
"I'm Lovino, you bastard, you should be able to tell us apart."He snapped irritably, but silenced himself from further speech after a fierce glare from Natalya. Then Antonio grabbed Lovino's hand and tugged him into the room, which was colourful and seemed ridiculously over-painted. Lovino yanked his hand away, his face turning slightly red."Feli, you better get to your lessons..."He murmured, hugging his brother reluctantly and watching him leave before sitting down and shutting the door.  
"What is it you bastard?"Lovino asked Antonio.  
"Well from now on I am going to be your mentor as we have the same classes so, greetings Lovi!"Antonio smiled idiotically.  
"You dare call me Lovi again-"He was interrupted by the Spaniard who clamped a hand over his mouth.  
"I will call you Lovi because it suits you~"The Spaniard grinned."Anyway, tell me more about yourself, chico."He said softly, picking up a clipboard with some noting paper on, he kept notes on Lovino at the request of the school, so they could document Lovino's progress.  
"What do you want me to say, bastardo?"Lovino spat.  
"Well, what are your favourite foods, hobbies?"Antonio suggested to him brightly.  
"I like pizza...and my brother loves pasta...I grow tomatoes, what's it to you?"He mumbled under his breath, watching Antonio's pen across the note paper he was writing upon.  
"What about your family?"Antonio asked innocently. Lovino froze, his eyes became wide and he began to shake.  
"My brother and I are orphans..."He stammered, terrified. Antonio frowned slightly.  
"Lovi what's wrong...?"Toni asked.  
"Go away..."He hissed."Don't call me Lovi..."He growled feebly. He felt the Spaniard's hand on his shoulder and shrugged it off angrily."Leave me alone."He snarled, he stood up quickly, pelting out of the room, running as fast as he could to the toilets, following the signs. Tears were flowing from his eyes, he curled up in a cubicle of the boys' toilets and whimpered to himself. He ferreted around in his bag until he found his knife he kept for defence. Wiping his face from the concealer he held a mirror up to himself, rolling down his sleeves. Flinching, he began to glide the blade across the glossy and perfectly in-tact skin of his underarm. Giving a 'tch' when one of the slices caught on another he watched the small beads of blood welling up on the wounds. Blood mixed with salty tears and rolled down his arm. "Ugly, worthless, pathetic, coward. You should have died."He spat to himself, the cuts getting more violent as they went on. Soon he was cutting deep scores into his arm. He silenced when he heard footsteps however he couldn't stop the waves of tears, along with the hiccups that came along with it as blood kept pooling from his arm. As the footsteps grew nearer the Italian bit his lip so hard they bled, fearing it was the Spaniard come to find him.  
"Lovi...?"The lost puppy-like voice of the Spanish boy called out.  
"G-Go a-away..."Lovino hiccuped, holding his wounded arm close."B-Bastard..."He added on.  
"Lovi, I need to know what is wrong. I need to write your report. Would you like me to get your brother?" Antonio was concerned, and a small mumble that could be made out as a 'yes' was heard from Lovino.

When he returned with Feli, Lovino was out of the cubicle, scratching at the cuts on his arm, rinsing them under the tap as tears ran down his face. As soon as he heard the footsteps he faced away from them."Feli. You have some?"He asked, reaching his hand backwards. Feli nodded and turned to Antonio. "Ve...fratello would rather you left for a moment..."He said politely, Antonio nodded as Feliciano helped Lovino apply the concealer the younger had in his bag to the older's face. "Grazie."Was the only thing Lovino said. He smiled slightly."You can go back to your class now, idiot."He snapped to Feli, his little brother kissed him on the cheek and hugged him before hurrying off. Antonio walked into the room and noticed the marks on Lovino's arm.  
"Lovi...-"He began.  
"Don't you fucking call me Lovi!"The Italian screamed with rage.  
"What did I tell you, Lovi."The Spaniard walked closer to Lovino."Let me look."He ordered, hearing the tone in his voice the Italian held out his arm almost reluctantly. Antonio looked at him."Bandages." And with that Lovino got some from his bag, his face tinting slightly pink as the Spanish student bandaged up his arm. "There you go Lovi, now promise me you won't do that again, sí?"He chirped, back to his normal self. Lovino just nodded numbly. "Come on,we can go to class."He smiled, holding onto Lovino's hands and rolling down his sleeves, chuckling when the latter's face went bright red and handed him his schoolbag."Here you go, chico."He smiled, writing some notes before putting his own bag on and dragging Lovino to World History 101. The class turned and stared as they walked in and Lovino flushed bright red. He hated attention, and these people were sneeringly looking at him. The teacher turned his head and pushed his glasses up his nose."Hello there Antonio, I see you've bought the new student along with you."The teacher turned his kind gaze to the class."I would like for the class to meet Lovino."He said softly, Lovino let out a 'tch' and just bowed his head slightly with a muttered phrase."Where should I sit?"He asked dryly. The teacher turned his head as he heard Antonio's desperate tapping of the empty seat next to him and so the teacher turned his gaze back to Lovino."Over there, with Toni?"He asked. Lovino grunted slightly but nodded, taking his bag and sitting beside Antonio. The two students in front, some giggling girls turned to Lovino and snickered, earning them a growl and a fierce glare. All Lovino could hear them whispering was 'his accent is weird' and 'is he wearing make-up?' along with things that made him tense up such as 'I've heard he's from the mental asylum'. Antonio put a hand on Lovino's arm to calm him as the Italian balled his fists, growling slightly. Then, it was announced that it was a project assignment to be set. Antonio instantly headed for a boy with white hair at the back of the class, leaving him sitting there. Another boy who seemed to be ignored by the class headed over to Lovino."H-Hello...I see you aren't working with anyone...would you like to work with me...?"He asked extremely quietly, and politely. Lovino nodded mutely."What's your name?"He asked, trying his best to be kind to the clearly terrified boy.  
"M-My name's Matthew Williams..."The boy smiled softly as he extended a hand. Lovino gently shook his hand, not wanting to hurt him by crushing his hand.  
"Hey Matthew...do you have a phone number?"Lovino asked, Matthew nodded and Lovino quickly passed him a little slip of paper with his number, and from there the two of them began to plan their project. Deciding on comparing the history of Canada and Italy they both seemed to get along really well, which Antonio had been observing from the back of the class, he watched as Lovino smiled and laughed and found himself smiling idiotically."His smile is so cute..."He whispered to himself, jumping up when he was interrupted by his best friend Gilbert's laughter.

Waiting impatiently outside the school gates for his brother he saw that his brother was busy chatting to his friend, a muscular, tall German man which thoroughly intimidated Lovino at first sight."Oi! Feli! Hurry up, I have been waiting for you!"He yelled to his brother, he was waiting impatiently to go back to the hospital, the nurse was waiting impatiently for Feliciano to arrive. Feli skipped over and smiled at the nurse."Can Luddy come with us? I want him to meet Lovi~"He smiled, he too lived in the hospital, in the room next to his brother. He lived there as he had nowhere else, plus he needed to always be on hand for his brother. Feli squealed when the nurse agreed and he skipped back to the awkward German and dragged him to the car, where Lovino already sat irritably in the front seat. All the way back home he could hear his brother's constant chattering, Feliciano was very hard to keep quiet and it got annoying, but he could tell Ludwig was still listening no matter how much he ranted. Then his phone began ringing and he quickly fished around in his bag until he found it, going bright red as it played a cheesy tune. answering the call he heard a quiet 'hello' from the other side of the line.  
"Oh hello there Matthew."Lovino said quietly.  
"Hey Lovino, I was wondering...do you want to come to my house to work on the project, please?"Matthew asked politely, nervously.  
"Of course Matthew."He said simply.  
"I'm very sorry for bothering you, I didn't want to leave it too long in case you were busy..."He apologized, Lovino laughed softly.  
"No need to be so polite, maple bastard."He used the term affectionately, he knew Matthew understood him. "Alright, I'll see you later."He said gently, hanging up and putting his phone away, just as the the nurse pulled up to the hospital. Lovino put on his scowl again and got out of the car, glaring coldly at Ludwig as he took his bag and headed on inside, greeting the receptionist as politely as he could, hurrying back to his room. When he was in his room he sat down on his bed, hearing the pattering footsteps of his brother and the slower strides of his brother's 'best friend' the macho potato. Looking up when the two walked in he hugged his knees."Sí?"He questioned Feli.  
"Ve~ Lovi I want you to meet Luddy!~"Feliciano half-squealed. Ludwig awkwardly extended a hand and coughed slightly.  
"Hallo, my name is Ludwig Belischmidt..."He seemed doubtful that the older student would actually even shake his hand. Lovino reluctantly shook his hand, eyes scanning over him.  
"Ciao, I'm Lovino, potato bastard. Just let me tell you this, if you so much as hit my brother playfully I will be all up on your macho German ass in a matter of seconds."He growled, looming his face close and menacingly.

By the time Ludwig had gone home, Lovino was tired. He yawned childishly and rubbed his eyes. His angry demeanor completely vanished as soon as he became extremely tired. Clutching at his little stuffed bunny he curled up in bed, Feli sitting on the chair next to his bed, carefully collecting Lovino up to the tubes that kept him hydrated and calm throughout the night. Lovino yawned and peered up at his brother, pushing him over the storybook on his bedside cabinet. Feli nodded and laughed."Ve~ Alright, alright fratello!" He spoke quietly, checking the clock, it was only 7pm, which surprised Feliciano. Lovino hardly ever went to bed this early, however he opened the book and began to read before his brother complained. He felt happy doing this for his brother, he was glad to spend time with his brother like this, he loved to be like a mother to Lovino. He found it cute how his fratello had asked him to read to him for the first time in a while. When Lovino was asleep Feli stood up slowly."Ve...night fratello..."He whispered softly, quietly walking out of the room and shutting the door behind him. Then he saw Antonio standing by the door of the hospital looking confused. Heading over Feli smiled at him brightly."Ciao, Toni!~"He grinned."What is it?"He asked, blinking. Antonio held out a parcel and a folder of papers.  
"A package for Lovino and the papers for his carer."Toni smiled, hugging Feli. "Thanks for taking this for me. It's a bit scary here."He chuckled.  
"The package for Lovi will have to wait until morning, Lovi is sleeping!"Feliciano informed Toni with a serious expression. Antonio laughed and held out a slip of paper with his phone number jotted onto it."Can you put this in yours and Lovi's phone?"Toni asked, smiling brightly when Feli nodded."Gracias Chico!"He waved before jogging off outside and on his way home.


End file.
